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Tracy McMillan is a television writer (Mad Men, United States of Tara) and relationship author who wrote the book Why You're Not Married...Yet, based on her viral 2011 Huffington Post blog. She also appeared as a dating coach on the NBC reality show Ready For Love. She lives in Los Angeles and is the mother of a 16-year-old guy.
In her TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen talk, McMillan answers the question: "Who is the one person you need to marry in order to have a successful relationship? (Yourself)"
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Wow. Didnt know it was going to take this turn but I promise you, this was needed for me. I'm an adoptee and always felt like I needed a relationship to feel LOVE! I never had it authentically.
This was spot on I need to love myself and marry myself. My goodness thank you!
so many people get into a relationship for wrong reasons, and then jealousy and possessiveness emerge
it's a red flag when someone says "i'd feel incomplete without my partner" or "i want a partner to complete me". do not get into a relationship with such people, just run, let them figure out themselves, let them develop a relationship with themselves first
I watched this for insight on actual relationships. Marry myself? Sounds silly. On one knee I'd have to say "No one will ever love me as much as I will. I won't ever leave me...no matter what...because even if I wanted to...it would be impossible." Omg. I just realized what suicide actually is!
I dont agree. You dont have to be perfect to have a good relationship. Yes you need to love yourself but if your relationship is good you complete each other. Thats what it means to love each other. Unconditionally
Love yourself. But also have the traits (sacrifice, compromise) to love someone else. That makes a complete person.
Women of today are horrible. They miss these traits . Men have been scholars and highly educated and in high paying jobs from ages. We never behaved like pigs (most of us).
But woman, As soon as she gets a degree or gets a job something, her attitude changes. She thinks she can cheat, she can treat men like puppets.
Bloody feminism concepts.
Marriages are failing.
When we finally except our own personality, when we're ok with who we are, is probably the perfect time to love another living being, with no wanity. We cannnot heel our holes with another people, even with our own children, lover, true friends, late husbands, unless we've allready done to ourself.
It's like Jane Fonda once said: "We are not made to be perfect, we are made to be WHOLE." So true!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This is very inspiring and life changing content. I finally realize that if I don't coltivate an amazing relationship with myself i can't have any great relationship in life.
For those who find fornication to not be a viable option,
the solution for having intimate affectionate relationship, is a marriage between a wife who is submissive and nurturing to her husband and the husband loves and honors his wife.
omg, this is phenomenal I have always thought about going on dates by myself but,I was extremely hesitant. I always sought out a gym partner and somedays didn't go to the gym without one although, I have got one step to closer to marrying myself by finally arriving to the gym alone. You do need to be absolutely content with yourself. I think from my failed relationships with guys and friends I have grown a sense of knowing what my energy accepts and does not accept and in doing so the little things like enjoying your own company really brings you along way!
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences. You have a lot of wisdom. I am separated & raising my child - the best gift from my marriage. You are so right! Each person must marry themselves, be whole & enjoy being authentic before marriage or any long term relationship. God Bless you :)
Marriage makes the most sense in Christian context. Only broken people take it out of contact and talk about marrying themselves. Everything she said is what you're supposed to do with the person you marry. Just because you marry someone in the wrong context doesn't make it right to pretend you should keep going down this path and then give TED talks about marrying yourself.
Our society would have less than half the problems that we are experiencing these days if people didn't vilify Christianity and parents did their job teaching children about God.
this was so powerful and I totally can relate....In more ways than I can say. Thank You. I know for sure your are helping many people, women and men. When you have a very hard childhood its so hard to get your center, even find your center, but when things start to fall into place within... things change without.
If you enter into a relationship to be Happy, you will fail. Only you can make yourself happy. Most relationships fail because people say “I wasn’t Happy”. Its’ not the job of your spouse to make you happy, that’s your job.
LOL the woman who has not 1, not 2, but THREE divorces is giving marriage and relationship advice?? To quote her in her words, "and what that is suppose to mean is that I'm a total failure at relationships," yuuuup thats it. Youre done cupcake. Get off the stage. Also, saying its because she fell in love with the wrong people, or she didn't love her self, it doesn't take away from the fact that she is a total failure at relationships. Whether it's her own personal relationship with herself, intimate relationships, or platonic relationships; it doesn't matter. I almost feel sorry for the poor sap who is spending money and time on her now, but then again women will always find some stooge to exploit. I could write a 10 page essay on why this woman is that last person ANY of you should be taking relationship advice from.