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The person you really need to marry | Tracy McMillan | TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen

167016 ratings | 10372590 views
Never miss a talk! SUBSCRIBE to the TEDx channel: http://bit.ly/1FAg8hB Tracy McMillan is a television writer (Mad Men, United States of Tara) and relationship author who wrote the book Why You're Not Married...Yet, based on her viral 2011 Huffington Post blog. She also appeared as a dating coach on the NBC reality show Ready For Love. She lives in Los Angeles and is the mother of a 16-year-old guy. In her TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen talk, McMillan answers the question: "Who is the one person you need to marry in order to have a successful relationship? (Yourself)" About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
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Text Comments (7190)
Christine Escajeda (5 hours ago)
Just got out of a 35 year relationship I'm not ready for a new relationship I'm okay someday when I fall in love and i see he feels the same i will fall in love for ever
Chris Bacus (6 hours ago)
DON'T MARRY! 'Love' is the most insidious lie sold that emotionally abuses and financially rapes men.
SunKissNicole (7 hours ago)
Wow. Didnt know it was going to take this turn but I promise you, this was needed for me. I'm an adoptee and always felt like I needed a relationship to feel LOVE! I never had it authentically. This was spot on I need to love myself and marry myself. My goodness thank you!
Tehani White (10 hours ago)
Powerful.
Leonardo Cheung (17 hours ago)
when you love someone, when you are dating someone you love, you should also focus on how you feel when you are with him!!! thank you so much for giving such a wonderful wonderful speech!!!
Benjamin Cochran (2 days ago)
Awesome.
Dan Willison (2 days ago)
seems like after the third divorce the problem might be with you, no?
Smriti charu (2 days ago)
Best thing till date 💝💝
Dom (3 days ago)
so many people get into a relationship for wrong reasons, and then jealousy and possessiveness emerge it's a red flag when someone says "i'd feel incomplete without my partner" or "i want a partner to complete me". do not get into a relationship with such people, just run, let them figure out themselves, let them develop a relationship with themselves first
Giorge Leedy (4 days ago)
Awesome! You are awesome! 😍
Ms Wonderfulgem (5 days ago)
She's right. The only person that is in control of your life is you. Face your strengths and challenges and evolve.
Dr. C (5 days ago)
What a motivational speech... for self centered loners and losers...
Harriet (5 days ago)
Powerful.
Kare Bear (5 days ago)
Wow...Caucasian version of Wendy Williams😃
she's great
Śūn yatā (5 days ago)
That's so basic .......
Karla Ordaz (5 days ago)
40 what? 😱 she looks so young 😍😍
Anna Liza Lazo (5 days ago)
I Love How She talks about it, Loving Yourself is really worth it. We don’t really need a man to make us whole..... We Are Whole Because God Loves Us More Than We Love Ourselves..... <3
#Savage Movement (6 days ago)
She lacked Christ
palss 115 (6 days ago)
I AM NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING
Aditi Paul (6 days ago)
This is the most amazing talk I've heard. Inexplicable 😊😊😊😊😊😊
Leena Khalid (6 days ago)
i like how funny she is 😍💕
Joyce Brower (6 days ago)
Such a good talk! I loved what you said. Great info! Thank you for she sharing yourself with us.
Fatoumata Bah (7 days ago)
I love her laugh.
mariachi mariachi (7 days ago)
wonderful
Zillow Photography (7 days ago)
I watched this for insight on actual relationships. Marry myself? Sounds silly. On one knee I'd have to say "No one will ever love me as much as I will. I won't ever leave me...no matter what...because even if I wanted to...it would be impossible." Omg. I just realized what suicide actually is!
L Torres (7 days ago)
Thank you very much Tracy ♡
Aircraft Mechanic (7 days ago)
Wow I love those curls and about the speech I have never though about it that way
Giada Lebani (7 days ago)
brave, you are quite brave to be so brutally honest. We are whole already, you are right
Thierno Bah (7 days ago)
If I had you, I will never let you go, you're so gorgeous 💖
Spirit Miracle (7 days ago)
💓
its_a_trab (8 days ago)
I dont agree. You dont have to be perfect to have a good relationship. Yes you need to love yourself but if your relationship is good you complete each other. Thats what it means to love each other. Unconditionally
angel 123 (8 days ago)
She had troubled family thats why disturbed marriages
catherin77 (9 days ago)
Her last words "I'll never leave you" made me cry :')
Iba Khriam (9 days ago)
Yeah!!! We all need to be true to ourself first in order to show gud to others ☺️
David Ashworth (9 days ago)
anyone think "love your neighbor AS YOURSELF" was any less relevant today?
Unus Shahid (9 days ago)
I want to marry myself but i dont have a vigina :(
Phyllis (9 days ago)
The theme of this ted talk is all of the lyrics to “thank u, next”’
loredelamor (10 days ago)
Never get married men! IT'S A TRAP! MGTOW
Jeanette L (10 days ago)
What an amazing message, thank you for sharing xx
JoyKronicles (10 days ago)
Seriously. So perfect.
shook thang (10 days ago)
I guess I have been unknowingly, obsessively married to myself 😂 36 and never been married. I always put my feelings first, if I'm not happy I always walk away from someone.
Miesha Ahseim (10 days ago)
❤️❤️❤️
Bob Marshall (10 days ago)
Why does anybody want to get 'married' in modern times? Such a silly, quaint, pointless thing to do!
Patrick Shrma (12 days ago)
Love yourself. But also have the traits (sacrifice, compromise) to love someone else. That makes a complete person. Women of today are horrible. They miss these traits . Men have been scholars and highly educated and in high paying jobs from ages. We never behaved like pigs (most of us). But woman, As soon as she gets a degree or gets a job something, her attitude changes. She thinks she can cheat, she can treat men like puppets. Bloody feminism concepts. Marriages are failing.
Jasmina Sugic (12 days ago)
When we finally except our own personality, when we're ok with who we are, is probably the perfect time to love another living being, with no wanity. We cannnot heel our holes with another people, even with our own children, lover, true friends, late husbands, unless we've allready done to ourself. It's like Jane Fonda once said: "We are not made to be perfect, we are made to be WHOLE." So true!
Mona Shaikh (12 days ago)
Where is she meeting all these men? Spill the beans on that too. Great video!
FuckenYesie (12 days ago)
I cried when she said she told herself “I’ll never leave you” 😭
do nguyen le ho (13 days ago)
Great
Danreael (14 days ago)
🙏🏽❤️
Kory Tideman (14 days ago)
Jesus quoted Moses. "You must love your neighbor as yourself" - good interactions with others means loving yourself first.
Debojit Das (14 days ago)
♥️
biba mariana (14 days ago)
i like her 😂
Shiftedcontrol (15 days ago)
I'm surprised that the title of this isn't a meme.
Mohameth Kane (15 days ago)
Always try to be happy alone. Never rely on others in order to live a happy life.
Julia Sanchez (16 days ago)
I loved her! She was so funny and smart! Thank you!
blessedarethebroken (16 days ago)
❤️
Leah Brooke (17 days ago)
Wow I actually cried watching this.
BPD Balance (17 days ago)
One of my favorites <3
pain grows me (17 days ago)
Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is very inspiring and life changing content. I finally realize that if I don't coltivate an amazing relationship with myself i can't have any great relationship in life.
Alex Sulay (18 days ago)
Best thing I have seen today
Silas Ajushi (18 days ago)
For those who find fornication to not be a viable option, the solution for having intimate affectionate relationship, is a marriage between a wife who is submissive and nurturing to her husband and the husband loves and honors his wife.
Madhusmita Das (19 days ago)
She is so strong and confident woman with grace ❤️
koray elibol (19 days ago)
Biz insan değil miyiz türk çe çe iri
Magz Sara (20 days ago)
The only thing that teaches is life experience...
Anon Nymous (21 days ago)
i'm married to my vibrator. 3x a day on weekends. 1x -2 x a day on most weekdays.
Lisa Faithful (21 days ago)
Beautiful tedtalk! what you’ve gone n grown thru is what so many of us have, so tnx for sharing the story of so many of us! 🙏🏻
futilitariano (21 days ago)
Perhaps women can relate to the concept of marrying one's self more than men. To me, it's creepy.
Maggie Mbugua (21 days ago)
Am still working on myself to get to this level. It's encouraging when you hear people who are already there. Fly high butterfly
Jada Alexus (21 days ago)
omg, this is phenomenal I have always thought about going on dates by myself but,I was extremely hesitant. I always sought out a gym partner and somedays didn't go to the gym without one although, I have got one step to closer to marrying myself by finally arriving to the gym alone. You do need to be absolutely content with yourself. I think from my failed relationships with guys and friends I have grown a sense of knowing what my energy accepts and does not accept and in doing so the little things like enjoying your own company really brings you along way!
m (22 days ago)
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences. You have a lot of wisdom. I am separated & raising my child - the best gift from my marriage. You are so right! Each person must marry themselves, be whole & enjoy being authentic before marriage or any long term relationship. God Bless you :)
Elsiebehaviorist Hagan (22 days ago)
Beautiful piece. Love yourself exactly where and how you are.😊🤗
duda (23 days ago)
kkkkk adorei
Bipin Kumar Mehta (23 days ago)
The place where I live, people never divorce, almost all marriages in my locality turn out to be successful until death.
Gaming with Sharanya (23 days ago)
This is so powerful...!!! This was much needed... :)
Farheen Khatun (23 days ago)
Love her hair style ❤️
Tarah Le (23 days ago)
thanks, her story is really interesting.
Kenya Montgomery (25 days ago)
Wow powerful
Raul Navarrette (25 days ago)
Your sick!!
little biffy (25 days ago)
Love you hair and you.
Pow3rGaming (25 days ago)
Marriage makes the most sense in Christian context. Only broken people take it out of contact and talk about marrying themselves. Everything she said is what you're supposed to do with the person you marry. Just because you marry someone in the wrong context doesn't make it right to pretend you should keep going down this path and then give TED talks about marrying yourself. Our society would have less than half the problems that we are experiencing these days if people didn't vilify Christianity and parents did their job teaching children about God.
Lin Benzo (26 days ago)
That was very nice
Marla Star (26 days ago)
this was so powerful and I totally can relate....In more ways than I can say. Thank You. I know for sure your are helping many people, women and men. When you have a very hard childhood its so hard to get your center, even find your center, but when things start to fall into place within... things change without.
salinastraightedge (26 days ago)
"Love yourself the way you want someone else to love you." That really resonated with me.
I love this ❤
Chris Daley (27 days ago)
You don't have to make an impression. Just feel the joy of self.
Zanah Taha (27 days ago)
The fact that shes 50 and still hoping for something better is so amazing and sad at the same time. This talk was amazing and im crying wtf.
Paul Hogue (27 days ago)
Basically get into yourself and fix you first in order to love someone else.
The Light (28 days ago)
Who stopped watching at 2:41
J SD (28 days ago)
don't take diving advice from someone with a front lawn full of wrecked cars...TED talks used to be real scientists with deep insights, not pop psychology idiots
brennanfl (28 days ago)
If you enter into a relationship to be Happy, you will fail. Only you can make yourself happy. Most relationships fail because people say “I wasn’t Happy”. Its’ not the job of your spouse to make you happy, that’s your job.
cherryonasundae (29 days ago)
That last line made me cry
ly24 (29 days ago)
beautiful
Dileta Kumetyte (1 month ago)
I personally think.... She needs help!!!! I am hearing v sad person talking... Trying to fight against her sadness. She is doing well I hope all will be ok.
Hasmik Melikyan (1 month ago)
What she's saying sounds sooooooooooooo simple: to be in harmony w/yourself. But it's soooooooooooo hard to fulfill in a real life! A great talk, indeed! Thanx a lot!
Not know boby that's controlling ""
johnny deep (1 month ago)
LOL the woman who has not 1, not 2, but THREE divorces is giving marriage and relationship advice?? To quote her in her words, "and what that is suppose to mean is that I'm a total failure at relationships," yuuuup thats it. Youre done cupcake. Get off the stage. Also, saying its because she fell in love with the wrong people, or she didn't love her self, it doesn't take away from the fact that she is a total failure at relationships. Whether it's her own personal relationship with herself, intimate relationships, or platonic relationships; it doesn't matter. I almost feel sorry for the poor sap who is spending money and time on her now, but then again women will always find some stooge to exploit. I could write a 10 page essay on why this woman is that last person ANY of you should be taking relationship advice from.
Monkey MindFrance (1 month ago)
you don't ""need to marry anyone""... no need to sign any paper to show to anyone that you love her/him.
ann jenny (1 month ago)
This was really inspiring
Christina Galstyan (1 month ago)
This is the best thing I've ever watched!!!

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