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10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee

117037 ratings | 5398565 views
When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations — and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules for having better conversations. "Go out, talk to people, listen to people," she says. "And, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed." TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more. Find closed captions and translated subtitles in many languages at http://www.ted.com/translate Follow TED news on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/tednews Like TED on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TED Subscribe to our channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/TEDtalksDirector
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Text Comments (2174)
sophea kh (1 hour ago)
Good talks sis
Paris75 (1 day ago)
God, I finally LEARNED something out of Youtube and TedX !! Thanks Celeste
Nazi Aly (2 days ago)
its amazing ted talk,,,enjoyed it
Nazi Aly (2 days ago)
how can we intend to reply unless we listen ....
Tupaq Amaru (2 days ago)
Don't be a pontiff, my favourite and kind of principle....... beautiful....
Dr. Lianie Jean (3 days ago)
(1) way 2 go about enter-personal skills. [2] learning is fun. <3>differentiate AppRoach
I'm a Conversationalist
marco brenni (3 days ago)
Celeste, you are a smart person!
Derick Ofodirinwa (3 days ago)
Why the assumption that conversations are inherently beneficial or 'good'? We cover our noses when there's an offensive smell, why run towards an offensive conversation?
モウナHezbri (4 days ago)
I need an English native speaker ! please ! I am doing doctorate degree about English speaking ! and I want hand from real Native speakers ! Could you help me ? Please !
diane dreyfus (4 days ago)
Best advice in eons!
Luke Bravin (5 days ago)
"kids are interacting with themselves through screens" Not true, just moments ago my housemate sent me a meme, I laughed and shouted down the stairs "good meme!", to which he replied with a chuckle :P
Kim Võ (6 days ago)
Wow, I understand what have happened to me and the way I communicate with other people. Thanks God I got your video! It helps me to reflect myself a lot. Thanks you very much, Celeste Headlee <3
Trung Nguyen Van (6 days ago)
I watch it for learn english...
Kelly Catbagan (7 days ago)
4:27 when the intro ends and the content begins
Patrick Wachsmuth (8 days ago)
Nice.
Pham Phuoc (8 days ago)
She has a little nervousness, i can hear her breath
INDERVIR HUNDAL (9 days ago)
Weather, health?Politics?Who are you married to and live with?Subject? can talk about?Interview peopleExpert in somethingOpen ended question Who, what, why and where? Try to get describingIf you don't know - sayExperience, individuals about them not youRepeat what they are saying not what you are repeatingNot Details - about you not detailsListen
Aivar (9 days ago)
Советское Общество "Знание" в чистом виде. И его лекторы. Один в одинешенек.
Elna Navarro (10 days ago)
Listen and be amazed, my most favorite line.
Lisa Siembida (10 days ago)
Impressive speech, method of delivery was spot on, funny/enjoyable to listen/watch, and absolutely perfect conversation tips/reminders!!! It was informationally packed, direct and to the point, relatable, and helpful to anyone. 😂🎉
Concerned Geek (10 days ago)
Coming back from the Jim Jeffries video about being ugly...trying to develop my people skills because I need it XD. Just remember mah fellow ugly ladies and dudes, or even mah average looking ladies and dudes, we're much more easy to approach so if you're fun to talk to too you'll be just as good at making friends as anybody else!
UMD // (11 days ago)
She lookalike with the woman who was assisting Conan O’Brien in the Havana Club Rum Museum
Sandy Kaye (11 days ago)
On the topic of relating to someone as they convey a tale of frustration or pain there is a fine line where an individual wants you to relate to them and share a similar story of your own so they don’t feel awkward and alone but generally they just want you to listen.
These Truths (12 days ago)
Super good lesson on genuine/best conversation rules. Sometime after getting married, being an intelligence and law enforcement officer, and then dating in 201x after a rough divorce, I learned how to practice not being judgmental and disliking someone for differences or first impressions...because oftentimes they were wrongly interpreted (by me). It's allowed me to appreciate most people, stranger or confidant. Now I only discount the conversations of dirt bags that purposefully or carelessly hurt or abuse people, unless they have repented and made up whatever they can for their harm and are humble thereafter.
nugrohokhoironi (12 days ago)
I hate it. You really tell the truth in making good in a conversation. You are the queen.
marina mari (12 days ago)
There are a few components to handwriting improvement . A resource I found that successfully combines these is the Secret Smart Scripter (look for it on google) definately the most helpful treatment that I've found. Check out all the super information .
Milan Patel (13 days ago)
I listened it carefully 😁
John R Borges (15 days ago)
If this were a sermon, it's the best I've heard.
Jubayer Mufid (16 days ago)
One of the best Ted talk ever
strawberryshortcake (16 days ago)
I need this
Junior Farias (16 days ago)
Ppl even argue about 'evolution' £peasants
Junior Farias (18 days ago)
I think in 2100 ppl will want to marry animals
Lily Arakelyan (19 days ago)
Amazing !
Hien Nguyen (20 days ago)
love this one
Rakesh Singh (20 days ago)
Silence is golden .
keshav kumar (21 days ago)
I have done my self a service.
William Ellerbe (24 days ago)
#ANewTakeOnConversation #CelesteHeadlee #ABetterConversation "A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject." (10:37) https://youtu.be/R1vskiVDwl4?t=637 As a person who can appreciate a great conversation, I can appreciate the wisdom in the quote from the Presenter's sister. Looking forward to more discussions by Celeste Headlee on TED Talks platform.
Lou Xavier (24 days ago)
interesting. tricky balance. hard something else more
Pom Jam (24 days ago)
this woman isn't communicating her ideas effectively. i feel like i'm being lectured to
WANG DANG DOODLE (25 days ago)
TeD wat she seD. Growing as a teen I can recall talkin to one another and whoever brought out the ball during the daytime weather permit called what game we were going to play first from volleyball to football as I growed up and eventually became a sales rep I learned that I got better response from clients when I listened to what they had to say and especially calling them by name and referencing a past conversation to there personal concern and it occurred to me that people like to be remembered in some small way at best and more likely to respond positively, so that aside not only did I have better customer relation but also made good friends and good time 😃 Indeed
neggit (26 days ago)
I'm terrible at making small talk because I deem it as useless :(
Ranger Dad (27 days ago)
So, I do all that yet I am still a bore. 😐
Akbope Nurmakhanbet (27 days ago)
Oh god she is so amazing😍😍😍😍😍😍
Courtney I (27 days ago)
I used to be so shy I couldn't say a word to people. Now been trying to make friends online I talk too much n probbaly say more than I need too.. Pretty sure that's why people stopped replying me now lol..
Ige Kehinde Charles (28 days ago)
#contextualthoughtorientation
Dawn Story (30 days ago)
Thanks for the video !
John Pepito (1 month ago)
What’s up with this crowd?! They seem really awesome haha
Eric Thanh Huynh (1 month ago)
thank you Celeste!
Conoce perro
Anonymous (1 month ago)
you forgot one thing. most people are BORING. I become even more boring if they don't listen so they'll leave.
So nice.
Nonya Bizness (1 month ago)
us older folk REALLY need to take #8 to heart- for the love of all that is good, PLEASE stop interrupting your own stories to spend long awkward moments growing more and more annoyed with yourselves as you stand there riffling through the back drawers of your dusty mental file cabinets for the name of a person/a specific place/a particular date etc. that relates to the story you are telling but escapes you at the moment. i am not being mean- i love stories! i do not need to know the exact date/time/place/name to enjoy your stories! you are doing a thing that, as i get older, i understand because it happens to me too. so, what she said: stay out of the weeds!!
Ian Wildon (1 month ago)
i have an IQ of 139.
Denny Hayes (1 month ago)
It’s amazing how wrong this girl is. Things like referencing Bill Idiot who lies about the causes of global warming, when anyone with a brain can go to any web site and see the list of green house gases and the causes. It turns out that over 90% is water vapor from the oceans, and humans can only contribute less than 2%. The only reason I can see for her even mentioning him must be to help companies who make sense anti pollution equipment. Another thing she said is to never repeat yourself. Any speaker knows that the more you say something, the more likely the person will hear it. That is why most politicians do it, and even trial court lawyers do it. Another concept she didn’t seem to address is that most people are sheep and stubbornly repeat something that they were told by someone they think has some authority. You can’t even have a debate with someone like that, because they have no rational proof for what they are saying. The only thing she got right, was when she said just get out of the conversation.
robertb2468 (1 month ago)
Denny why your fake science politics? Here something real. Both party's suck !! When Corporations take over our government it is Corporate style of Communism . Since Jan 20th 1981 corrupt Right Wing Trickle down Corporate Globalist economy. The Right wing's Wall street syndicate caused all the recessions , Reagan's 1981 and 1987 Black Monday, H W Bush 1990, GW Bush 2001 and 2008 the second biggest ever, and Trump's the next one , soon to visit a Main St. near you. Wages vs cost of living have lagged behind at an average rate of 2%, adjusted for inflation for three decades. We now work for 1/2 price. Now the Lefty's are riding the Corporate money wagon. So Sad. P.S. Hoover's 1929 Depression was the biggest one ever.
Jenny Jen1010 (1 month ago)
This was great advice! I needed to be reminded of some of this.
schalazeal07 (1 month ago)
"A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject." Hahahaha!! Great talk!
Balot Hontiveros (1 month ago)
Talk to people and ''Be prepared to be amazed''
Robbie Jack (1 month ago)
I didn’t watch the video, I just came here to comment. So, anyway - guess what happened to me today.
Tori Scot (1 month ago)
Nice
Johnny Schmegma (1 month ago)
So don't do all the things I do. Got it!
Thinkers (1 month ago)
1:45 i don't have any friends so i don't text messages
ебать, это этак невъебенно!
Bala M (1 month ago)
"Don't multitask" Yet here we are reading YouTube comments while watching this video.
fateme heydhri (1 month ago)
Great!
berry jordaan (1 month ago)
I'm so guilty. My way of showing someone that I understand what they are going through is to equate my experience with theirs. In honesty, my thinking is that if I can't understand what they are going through then clearly they are talking to the wrong person. And why strike up a conversation with someone who has nothing in common with you? Is the problem with me? I don't think so. Isn't that why we all know people we don't want to converse with? Maybe that's why I'd rather not have conversation with people but somehow people want to find a confidant in me. I'm not even good at keeping secrets. People are weird and complex????
I saw this videos some days ago in a Qatar Airline flight; weird thing it was the only TED talk in the catalog. After watching it I understood why there was only one.
Butterfly X (1 month ago)
♥️
Ariff MAR (1 month ago)
Hear carefully from 10:36 to 10.40 ? ...
honey B (1 month ago)
Thank you well appreciated💫
Ryan I (1 month ago)
I still can’t connect with humans, I suck. Can’t even connect with my GF of 3+ years. It’s depressing. Therapy hasn’t been helping either.... I still watch this video and practice my best. I’m only 28 so I still got a little life left in me.
Jennifer Swanson (1 month ago)
this could be BETTER. give us examples of what we should do after the "don't do that" points
Vishnu Prasad (1 month ago)
☺☺
Gabriel Marquez (1 month ago)
I loved her in that movie The Heat!! LMFAO!!!
Khataroo (1 month ago)
This is my favorite TED Talk. She packs so much important information in about 12 minutes. It is most certainly, the most important people skills one can acquire.
Marie Minh Hạ (1 month ago)
I see listening is so important thing. Please advise me this case. In the Asian classroom, the students listen to the teacher talking only. They are so quiet and just listen to their teacher without asking question or talk about how they feel. Now many people see it's so harmful for students here. They learnt in an effective way. They need to speak up and challenge their teacher and asking for more understanding. What do you think?
Emtinan Samaren (1 month ago)
Be prepared to be amazed !
zztop3000 (1 month ago)
0:25 Lol, don't use fakebook.Nothing but socialism there. Why do you think they call it social apps.
Oh God, I'm always struggling not to tell people I'm talking to "I know what you mean", "I know how you feel", "I get what you're saying"... Really great video with powerful tips. Thank you!
hexlgaming (1 month ago)
I feel like this is why people watch so much YouTube, TV or Netflix; they just don't really listen to what's been said & let their minds wander off (because of that, people speak at 250 words per minute but we can listen to 500 wpm, thing..
Kanga Kid (1 month ago)
This is brilliant, conversation is a wonderful art.
I think it was very interesting and useful advancer. Thanks
Nguyen Duong (1 month ago)
Hardly can I disagree with any of the 10 rules she made. All of them are so spot on. And I'm wordless to describe how much I got inspired by this talk.
Gérard Willems (1 month ago)
Wauw is was amazed
BlackhawkX02 (2 months ago)
Am I the only one who thinks there is a laugh track?
Jovana Spasojevic (2 months ago)
eye opening talk
Jerry Jefferson (2 months ago)
To those of you who watched this. Congrats you just finished your first task. Listening. :3
Ian Chi Hang Lau (2 months ago)
haha good job
Don't make eye contact? Including when asking out on a date and with eyes closed is ok?
Anju Jain (2 months ago)
Every word is a diamond. Everything should be so precise and interesting .
Dio L (2 months ago)
I like the speaker
Gilvan Maninho (2 months ago)
When you find your self around a group what is not gave your attention but pretending gave you anything than artificial attention gosh.. It's sks . depressing absolutely dep..
MsYooMEE (2 months ago)
One of the best talks I've heard. All notes taken. Thank you!
Vineeta Laskar (2 months ago)
I am amazed by your talk. Thank you for this wonderful conversation!
Thomas M (2 months ago)
great speech! you are awesome :)
E Garcia (2 months ago)
I’ve listened to this every day for the past week, thank you for educating me ♥️
Most amazing ted talk ever
Sunshine Taylor (2 months ago)
Holy moly you she is amazing
酒井さゆり (2 months ago)
g
Samir Shingarakhiya (2 months ago)
Wonderful headlee hats off for your speech

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